CHRISTIAN YOUTH AND THEIR SEXUAL LIFE
INTRODUCTION
When I was in school there was a teacher that taught us commerce, he is a believing
Christian. Whenever he had the opportunity to advise us , he starts with a
scripture which I fell so much in love with though I was not a believer then
but I always get touched whenever he speaks with this scripture which says ;
Do not be deceived for God is not mocked . For whatsoever a man soweth that
shall he reap. Galatians 6: 7.
The youthful age is the time of sowing and it is what you sow as a youth that
you will reap when you grow old. Many people are suffering in their old age
today, not because they were meant to but it as a result of the seed they sowed
when they were young in terms of serving God which every man on earth were
created to do and many sowed an evil seed in training their children, helping
the needy, in communications, integrity and moral life.
Life is a fertile prepared garden where men have received the mandate to sow
and to reap in several folds what they had sown. As far as you are living on
this planet earth , you are sowing either a good or a bad seed and as in every
farm land that is sown for years is left to be fertile again for another to
plant so shall every man leave this earth for another to occupy . The law of
sowing and reaping had been established by God and no man can counter it.
A seed cannot be reaped the day it was sown it pass through process and there
is no possibility of reaping what you did not sow So, be mindful of your
youthful age because, it is the time when you pass through series of
temptation, trials, distractions and things that can hinder you from getting to
a better destination and a fulfilled life. The end of everything is always
important. It does not matter how you started but how you end it. Life is a
journey which must one day, come to an end and it is the part you follow that
determines your destination.
It is written; truly light is sweet and it is pleasant for the eyes to behold
the sun. But if a man lives many years and rejoice in them all yet let him
remember the days of darkness for they will be many. That is vanity. Rejoice oh
young man in your youth and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth.
Walk in the ways of your heart and in the sight of your eyes but know that for
all these God will bring you into judgment. Therefore remove sorrow from your
heart and put away evil from your flesh for childhood and youth are vanity.
Ecc. 11 : 7 -10
Do not be deceived ; many people have been deceived today, they walk in the
ways of their heart and follow after the sight of their eyes without
remembering that the youthful age is vanity and that God will bring every deed
into judgment. They live in fornication, lies, lust, hatred, anger, love of
money more than God without considering that every sin has consequences.
My dear, are you guilty of any of these sins it is dangerous! Surrender to
Jesus today and allow the blood he shed on the cross for you to cleanse you
from all your iniquities.
Advice to my beloved youths: remember thy creator in the days of your youth
before the difficult days comes. Ecc. 12: 1
It is better to travel without anything than to get to your destination and
find nothing. Your salvation and moral live is your key to divine success.
Your yesterday is a history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is your refined
available currency so, spend it wisely.
CHAPTER ONE
IS EVERYBODY REALLY HAVING SEX
“not every body in the market came to
buy and sell” Prof Onyedikachi
The fact that everybody does it ,does
not makes a difference, but the difference is the people that doesn’t do.It’s
obvious that this generation is decaying and morally failing, but I can beat my
chest any where to speak of a handful
that will stand no matter the storm and remain faithful. Everybody bored to the
Nebuchadnezzar’s image, but three person stood their ground.
So as regard sex, not everyone is
involved in the act. I have had encounter with several young person who had sex
and they are sad whenever they remember it and wished they have never done such
things.
The truth remains that some people
have generally fell in love with Jesus
and then even other thing is a
distraction to the beautiful relationship the share with Jesus. The
truth is that everybody can’t be equal. Some people must and are different.
Choose to stand out and be ready to maintain that decision no matter what it
will takes. Marriage is the only moral and legal for sex, every other platform
is dangerous and deadly.Although no individual will opt into danger with his
or her eyes widely opened. So dearly beloved stay away from such act because
you are the best when you are not like others.
CHAPTER TWO
CHRISTIAN VIEW ON VIRGINITY/PREMARITAL SEX
According to the Medical Institute for Sexual Health, “A virgin is
anyone who has never had sexual intercourse (oral, vaginal, or anal)”. Many
teens falsely assume that they are still virgins if they only have oral sex,
but this is simply not true. Oral sex is sex, vaginal
sex is sex, and anal sex is sex. Any time your sexual organs are sexually
stimulated by the touch of another person, you’re involved in a form of sexual
activity.
In Christianity, premarital sex is also not allowed and virgin till
marriage is highly encouraged. The bible says “flee from sexual immorality.
Every other sin a person commits is outside the body but the sexual immoral
person sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). However, the bible does
not prescribe any punishment for those who engage in sexual immorality but
leave the matter for God to judge.
Furthermore, African Traditional Religion frowns at premarital sex and
has serious sanctions for perpetrators of extramarital affairs to the extent
that consequence could involve ultimate death of the perpetrators. Similarly,
the religion emphasizes the imperativeness of personal hygiene and maintenance
of sexual health and being sexually faithful as a means of ensuring marital
harmony. The implication of this viewpoint lies in the fact that, individuals
(especially youths) who engage in premarital sex risk exposure to all
consequences inherent in such act and administration of appropriate
sanction when caught or if found guilty against the laid down rules and
regulations of the society. In some instances the gods of African traditional
Religion stipulates that certain rites are specifically to be handled by youths
or individuals who are sexually faithful given their age and marital status.
CHAPTER THREE
EFFECT
OF PREMARITAL SEX
Some of the effects of premarital sex are uncountable and cut across so
many areas of the victims live. The act itself in most cultures/religions (for
example in most parts of the country particularly Nigeria as a whole) is
considered immoral as its consequences may lead to other immoral behaviors and
also breaking of the constituted authority of the land. It is not unlikely,
that where the culture frowns at it, the youth after premarital sex may have
sense of guilt, shame and regret. The effects of premarital sex can be
categorized into four: spiritual effects, sexual/ physical effects, emotional
effects and relational effects.
Spiritual effect of premarital sex starts immediately the act has been
done. Almost all religion (if not all) are against premarital sex and this
makes youth conscious that they have sinned against God. They feel spiritual
decline and these may even lead to disobedience to other religious law since
they have sinned before.
The sexual/physical effects are unwanted pregnancy, abortion, poverty
through early marriage, stigma and disgrace as well as Sexually Transmitted
Diseases (STDs). The STDs include Vasco Virginal Fistula (VVF),
Trichonomoniasis, Gonorrhoea, Chlamydia, Choroid, Herpes, Syphilis, Genital
warts, HIV/AIDS and so on.
Premarital sex affects youths emotionally. It leads to resentment and
frustrations, loss of dream, devalue for sex, regrets, guilt, emotional baggage,
worry about STDs, and loss of self-respect, low self-esteem, depression,
unwanted pregnancy and children, poverty and so on. Premarital sex leaves an
individual empty and searching for real love.
Relational effects includes mistrust, ruined relationship, fear of
commitment, false intimacy, difficulty in evaluating future spouse, feeling of
betrayal, tendency to cheat after marriage and lack of bonding through sex in
marriage. When youth engage in their first premarital sex, they may end up
feeling unfulfilled or dissatisfied with the consequence that they may be
tempted to have sexual intercourse with different partners in the hope that
they would find satisfaction, yet they have unsatisfied sexual experience and
it increases their sexual exploitation.
CHAPTER FOUR
SEXUAL PURITY
If the Bible addresses an issue with unrelenting frequency and urgency, and
if that issue is one of the strongest natural forces in the world today, then
ministers of the Word of God are obligated sooner or later to declare God's
will on that issue. The sexual life of the unmarried person (I will talk about
married people my next edition) is of great concern to God. Even those of you
who have not entrusted yourselves to Christ for salvation and do not love God,
even you are obligated to obey what God has to say about your sexual desires.
Though you rebel against his ownership, you are God's. He made you and has an
absolute right to tell you what is good for you. He sent Jesus Christ into the
world to overcome your rebellion and to make peace by the blood of his cross.
And my prayer at the very outset is that you might turn from your rebellion and
unbelief and disobedience and that you might trust Christ for forgiveness and
lives for the glory of God.
CHAPTER FIVE
YOUR BODY IS NOT YOUR OWN
Then I would be able to say to everyone, do you not know that your body is the
temple of the Holy Spirit, within you, which you have from God? You are not
your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body (1
Corinthians 6:19, 20).
O, what an offensive word to our rebel human nature. The body in which you
dwell is not yours to do with simply as you please. God bought your body from
the curse of sin by the payment of his own Son, and now your body should serve
one all-encompassing purpose: "Glorify, God in your body." As Paul said
in Romans 6:12–14,
let not sin therefore reign in your mortal bodies to make you obey their
passions. Do not yield yourselves to sin as instruments of wickedness, but
yield yourselves to God as people who have been brought from death to life, and
your bodily parts to God as instruments of righteousness. For sin will have no
dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.
God is concerned about what you do with your body. He created them, he bought
them, he owns them, he indwells them, and what we do with them demonstrates to
the world that our Lord is. If I were to stop here with this general
admonition, our consciences would give us some guidance in specific cases, say,
of whether we should smoke, or drink, or use drugs, or overeat, or never
exercise, or get too little sleep, or engage in sexual relations outside
marriage, or masturbate, or wear enticing clothing, or other things that misuse
or abuse the body. But what our consciences approve and disapprove of is not
always an accurate guide to what God approves of. Therefore, the Bible goes
beyond the general admonition, "Glorify God in your body," to the
more specific guidance, especially in the matter of sexual desires. So I aim to
be more specific, too.
CHAPTER SIX
Why Did God Invent Sexual Desire?
The question I want to start with is this: Why did God invent sexual desire?
Before I try to answer that question from Scripture, let me define sexual
desire. First of all, I am not including homosexual desires. Until I have a
chance to preach on homosexuality I'll just say three things about it:
1. If you are here and homosexual, I pray that you will not feel driven away,
but will stay and seek help.
2. The practice of homosexuality is sin; it is contrary to God's revealed will.
3. Homosexual desires, like many other kinds of desires, are abnormal, and
those who have them should seek through prayer, fellowship, and Christian counseling to be changed. It is not easy, but it is possible.
When I ask the question, why God created sexual desire, I have in mind that
normal craving for sexual stimulation and intimacy that begins with early
adolescence and continues, for some it seems, indefinitely, but for many
mellows out into a less visceral craving but nevertheless real desire for
personal and bodily intimacy. I acknowledge that in these years of sexual
desire there are many people with very vigorous, and people with very mild,
sexual desires. I don't mean to treat anyone along this continuum as better as
or worse than another. When I speak of those with sexual desires I refer to the
vast majority of people who from their early adolescence have to deal one way
or another with God-given sexual appetite.
Now, why did he create it? Let me give one brief answer and one expanded
answer. The brief answer comes from Genesis 1:27, 28, "God created man in
his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created
them. And God blessed them, and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply and
fill the earth and subdue it."' Since sexual desire aims finally at consummation
in sexual intercourse, and sexual intercourse is the means that man and woman
have of multiplying and filling the earth, therefore, I infer that one of the
reasons God created us with sexual desire is to see to it that mankind would
indeed fill the earth with people. And for some people procreation of children
is the only justification for seeking gratification of sexual desires. But we
will see in more detail next week, when I will be talking about sexual
relations in marriage, that the apostle Paul has quite a different view.
A second answer to the question, why God created sexual desire, is found, I
believe, in 1 Timothy 4:1–5,
Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the
faith by giving heed to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons through the
pretensions of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and
enjoin abstinence from foods, which God created to be received with
thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. For everything created by
God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving,
for then it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.
In this text Paul is trying to help Timothy know what to say when false
teachers arise (and there were some already at Ephesus) who teach that
gratification of sexual appetite in marriage and the gratification of appetite
for food should be cut back as far as possible. That means, abstain from
marriage altogether and avoid unnecessary foods. It is no accident that Paul mentions
marriage and eating together here and then treats them as one problem. Because
the issue is really bodily pleasure, unnecessary bodily pleasure, whether
through sexual stimulation or through eating food. The false teachers said,
"Cut bodily pleasure to the minimum that will allow you to live."
Paul's response to this ascetic teaching is very plain in verses 4 and 5:
Everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is
received with thanksgiving; for then it is consecrated by the word of God and
prayer.
Why did God create sexual desire and sexual intercourse to satisfy it? Why did
God create hunger and food to satisfy it? Verse 3 gives a very straightforward
answer: "God created (these things)
to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth."
All the unnecessary, innocent pleasures of life (and there are thousands of
them) were created by God to be occasions for thanksgiving to God by those who
believe and know the truth. The reason God created sexual desire and the event
of sexual intercourse to satisfy it is not merely to fill the earth with
people, but also to give another unique and exquisite occasion for the ascent
of thanks from two hearts full of gratitude for God's gift of sexuality.
And let us not be deceived by the world. This gift was designed for believers
and no one else. Look at verse 3, "God created these things to be received
with thanksgiving by those who believe." By its very design it can only be
for believers, because it is designed as an occasion for thanksgiving. But
those who do not "know the truth" — the truth, namely, that God is
the giver of all good gifts and worthy to be glorified and thanked — those who
hold down this truth ( Romans 1:18 , 25 ) and do not trust in God cannot satisfy
their sexual desires according to the design of God. All their sexual behaviour
is sin because it does not spring from faith in God (Romans 14:23) and does not
result in thanks to God.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Why Is Sexual Fulfillment Intended Only for Marriage?
Now, what are his words of guidance to those who are not married? The Greek
word from which we get "pornography" is porneia. In the New Testament
porneia is translated as "fornication," "unchastely," or
"immorality." Generally (though not always) it refers to sexual promiscuity
of unmarried people. In
Matthew 15:19 Jesus says, "Out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder,
adultery, fornication." Here it stands side by side with adultery,
adultery being the specific sin of sexual unfaithfulness in marriage, and
fornication being the more general word covering illicit sexual relations for
persons who are not married.
The New Testament as well as the Old condemns fornication, or sexual
intercourse outside marriage, as sin. In Galatians 5:19 Paul lists it with the
works of the flesh. In 2 Corinthians 12:21 he is ready to weep over those who
have not repented of this sin. In Ephesians 5:3 he says fornication should
never have to be named among Christians. In
Colossians 3:5 fornication is first on Paul's list of things we should put to
death in ourselves. And in
Revelation 9:21 it is listed with murder, sorcery, and theft as things a
hardened people would not repent of.
In 1 Corinthians 7:2 Paul says,
Because of temptation to immorality (i.e., fornication) each man should have
his own wife and each woman her own husband.
Then he goes on in verses 8 and 9:
To the unmarried (men and women) and to the widows I say it is well for them to
remain single as I do. But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them
marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.
The point I want to take from these verses is that, according to Scripture, all
sexual intercourse before marriage is immoral. There are many man-cantered
moralists today who admit that indiscriminate sexual relations are wrong but
who argue that, when a couple is engaged or has a deep friendship, then things
are different and sexual relations are a legitimate expression of love. But the
biblical view cannot be stretched to cover that concession. Paul considers the
possibility that a couple may be aflame with passion for each other and his one
and only release from continence is marriage: "If they cannot exercise
self-control, they should marry!" God not only created sexual desire, but
he also created the perfect sphere for its gratification, marriage. And any
attempt to alter his design is not only immoral before God, but destructive of
personal relations and individual fulfilment.
This raises the next question:
CHAPTER EIGHT
Why did God command that we find gratification for our sexual desires
only in marriage?
To the best of my knowledge, God does not give us a direct answer to
this question in his Word, nor is he obligated to. Sometimes God leaves the
wisdom of his commands for us to discover by experience. Those who disobey him
discover it through tragedy. Those who obey discover it through patience and
joy.
The way I have tried to understand God's wisdom and love in limiting sexual
intercourse to marriage is by asking, "What is it that distinguishes
marriage from all other heterosexual relations?" The biblical answer to
that question is that marriage is distinguished from other chosen relationships
by its permanence. Marriage is a commitment made for a lifetime, till death do
us part. 1 Corinthians 7:39,
a wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If the husband dies, she is
free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
There is no other relationship between a man and a woman requiring that kind of
permanent commitment. Therefore, in marriage God has designed a unique and
stable and lasting relation for our most intimate expression of love. I believe
experience confirms that something good and beautiful is lost from our sexual
intimacy in marriage if we gave ourselves away outside that union. God can forgive
that sin, but the scar he does not remove. The act will never be the same
again. There is an inexpressible deepening of the union of marriage, which God
intended, when a husband and wife can lie beside each other in perfect peace
and freedom and say, "What I have just given you I have never given to
another." I speak to those for whom it is not too late: Do not throw that
away.
I find it helpful to use the analogy of Jesus' words in
Matthew 7:6 "Don't cast your pearls before swine." It is possible to
debase the truth by dispensing it willy-nilly. There are some truths that are
too precious to be discussed in hostile, worldly settings. That's the way it is
with our bodies, too. Nobody dispenses his bodily affections indiscriminately.
You don't shake hands with all the people you nod to. You don't hug all the
people you shake hands with. You don't kiss all the people you hug. And I would
argue that there is a pearl of great value, a pearl of emotional, spiritual,
physical intimacy, which can only be placed in one container without being
debased and ruined, and that is the strong, permanent velvet-lined case of
marriage. The unique, personal sexual fulfillment in the permanence of marriage
for those who have kept themselves pure is one of the best explanations for why
God limited the gratification of sexual desires to marriage.
The implication of all this for the single person with average sexual desires
is not easy. Even if a person gets married in his early twenties, he is
confronted with a preceding decade of sexual stress. And for those who remain
single, whether by choice or not, the problem of handling sexual desires
continues much longer. What help can we give to these people, among whom I
include everybody from thirteen years on up who is unmarried and yet feels
desires for sexual stimulation and gratification? My main burden for you in
this category is that you glorify God in your bodies by keeping yourself free
from any enslavement, except to God. In Romans 6:16 Paul said,
Do you not know that if you yield yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you
are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of
obedience, which leads to righteousness?
And in 1 Corinthians 6:12 the proud Corinthian libertines said, "All
things are lawful for me," but Paul responded, "Yet I will not be
enslaved by anything." The meaning of that little interchange is that it
is possible to be enslaved in the name of freedom. That is the situation in the
world today. In the name of sexual freedom, we are a nation enslaved to our
sexual cravings. If you want to know what a nation is hooked on, just observe
what the media masters use to get and hold our attention. Sex sells everything.
It sells movies, cars, furniture, clothes, booze, news, cigarettes, and sporting
gear. Sex sells because we are a nation enslaved to the second, third, and
fourth look at the body in the picture. But it shall not be so among you,
because you have been set free from sin and are now enslaved to God. Therefore,
glorify God by keeping yourself free from the enslaving forces of the world.
CHAPTER TEN
WHY SHOULD I SAVE SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE
“Coconut juice is
sweet, but you must crack the shell and break the nut before drinking the
juice” Prof Onyedikachi
Everything God created are purposeful and intentional, all
for His praise and glory even sex and marriage. God never make a mistake, thus
He in His eternal nature makes all things beautiful in it’s kind; that is to
say that everything has it kind.
Sex as the case maybe
was created for one very important reason aside fulfilling gratification to
spouse it is for procreation, which is God’s first command to Adam and Eve,
multiplication and replenishing the earth. If procreation is one reason for
sex ,that means only married people are
legally tied to sex, since nobody will envy any young unmarried girl or boy
parenting a child before marriage .Why are we still caving ,many will say it is
protected sex, friends , before God there is no such things: sex is sex be it oral,
anal or the like. They are all a
contradicting God’s word.
Defiling
the bed before marriage is a sin and that’s all. So the only legal and biblical
backing for sex is marriage
“Marriage is honorable
in all, and the bed undefiled: but whore-mongers and adulterers God will judge.”
Hebrews 13:4.
Marriage is not all about sex and not only for
sex,if you are not full and set please wait and control sexual urges. “always
wear an iron pant as a youth”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
WHY SHOULD I SAVE SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE
“Coconut juice is
sweet, but you must crack the shell and break the nut before drinking the
juice” Prof Onyedikachi
Everything God created are purposeful and intentional, all
for His praise and glory even sex and marriage. God never make a mistake, thus
He in His eternal nature makes all things beautiful in it’s kind; that is to
say that everything has it kind.
Sex as the case maybe
was created for one very important reason aside fulfilling gratification to
spouse it is for procreation, which is God’s first command to Adam and Eve,
multiplication and replenishing the earth. If procreation is one reason for
sex ,that means only married people are
legally tied to sex, since nobody will envy any young unmarried girl or boy
parenting a child before marriage .Why are we still caving ,many will say it is
protected sex, friends , before God there is no such things: sex is sex be it oral,
anal or the like. They are all a
contradicting God’s word.
Defiling
the bed before marriage is a sin and that’s all. So the only legal and biblical
backing for sex is marriage
“Marriage is honorable
in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
Hebrews 13:4.
Marriage is not all about sex and not only for
sex,if you are not full and set please wait and control sexual urges. “always
wear an iron pant as a youth”
CHAPTER TWELVE
SOME WORDS OF COUNSEL FOR THE SINGLE PEOPLE
Here are some words of counsel for young
persons who are not married because I know the male temptation first-hand but
not the female. Some are dos and some are don'ts, but all aim to be positive in
that they are intended to help you preserve preparation for sexual intercourse,
and therefore it belongs where that event belongs, namely, in marriage. Where
the permanent commitment that characterizes marriage is missing, caressing
becomes depersonalized manipulation; it turns the other's body into a
masturbation device to get a private physical thrill. God made us in such a way
that if we try to turn that moment of touching into a personal, spiritual
expression of love, we are not able to do it without making promises of
faithfulness. Implicit in our hearts at that moment is the statement: You may
touch me because you have promised never to leave me nor forsake me. You may
have me because you
are me. We are so made that we cry out for permanence when giving away our most
intimate gifts. They belong in marriage.
Third, avoid unnecessary sexual stimulation. It doesn't take any brains to know
that there are enough X-rated movie houses and adult bookstores in the city to
keep a person living 24 hours a day. To visit these crummy places is temptation
enough. But the real test is what you do with the more legitimate sources of
sexual stimulation. PG movies, Time magazine, the newspaper, television,
drugstore magazine racks, rock music lyrics. In our society you cannot escape
sexual stimulation, but you can refuse to seek it. And you can avoid it often
when you see it coming. This is the great test of whether we are enslaved or
free — can we say no to the slave driver in our bodies who wants us to keep on
looking and keep on lusting. Absolutely yes !we can.
Fourth, when the stimulation comes and the desire starts to rise, perform a
very conscious act of transfer onto Christ. I wish I had learned this much
earlier in my life. While riding down the road, if some billboard or marquee
puts a desire into my mind for some illegitimate sexual pleasure, I take that
desire and say, "Jesus, you are my Lord and my God, and my greatest desire
is to know and love and obey you, so this desire is really for you. I take it
from your competitor, I purge it, and I direct it to you. Thank you for freeing
me from the bondage of sin." It is remarkable what control we can gain
over the direction our desires take, if we really long to please Christ.
Fifth, pray that God would give you, in ever-increasing strength, a longing to
know and love and obey him above all else. I read a sermon once entitled,
"The Expulsive Power of a New Affection." The point was, there is no
better way to overcome a bad desire than to push it out with a new one. It is
in prayer that we summon the divine help to produce in us that new desire for
God.
Sixth, bathe your mind in God's Word. Jesus prayed, "Sanctify them in the
truth. Your word is truth" (John 17:17). There is nothing that renews the
mind and enables it to assess things God's way like regular meditation on the
Word of God. The person who does not arm himself with the sword of the Spirit
(Ephesians 6:17) is going to lose in the battle for his or her body.
Seventh, keep yourself busy, and when it is time for leisure, choose things
that are pure, lovely, gracious, excellent, worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8).
Idleness in a world like ours is asking for trouble. It is much harder for
sexual temptation to gain a foothold when we are busy at some productive task.
And if you need some fresh air, walk in a park, not down Hennaing Avenue.
Eighth, don't spend too much time alone. Be with Christian people often. Don't
forsake the assembling of yourselves together, but encourage one another, stir
each other up to love and good works. Talk of your struggles with trusted
friends. Pray for each other and hold each other accountable.
Ninth, strive to think of all people, especially people of the opposite sex, in
relation to eternity. It is not easy to fantasize about a person if you think
about the eternal torment they may shortly be suffering in hell because of
their unbelief. Nor is it easy to disrobe in your imagination a person you know
to be an eternal sister or brother in Christ. Paul said in
2 Corinthians 5:16, "From now on we know no one according to the
flesh." We view everybody from God's eternal perspective.
Finally, resolve to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and he
will add to you everything you need sexually. It may be a spouse. It may be the
grace and freedom to be single and pure and content. That is up to God. Ours is
to seek the kingdom. Or to put it another way, our all-consuming passion must
be to glorify God in our bodies by keeping ourselves free from every
enslavement but one: the joyful, fulfilling slavery to God My youthful age and
my sexual life.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
What if I've already had sex?
If you’ve already had sex and regret that decision, the first step is to stop
having sex and begin with a renewed commitment to purity. Your past does not
have to determine your future. Purity can begin today. Second, ask yourself
some tough questions: Why did I start having sex? Was I pressured into it? Was
I looking for love and thought sex would fill that void? Was I merely curious?
Third, experience God’s total
forgiveness. 1 John 1:9 says: If we confess our sins, He is faithful and
righteous to forgive
us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. God does not offer
partial
forgiveness, or conditional forgiveness, but total forgiveness.
God loves you and desires that you experience the most fulfilling
sex, love, and marriage relationship possible. To
experience God’s best you must move forward today - regardless
of your past - by making a commitment to save sex until
marriage. I promise you, it is well
worth the wait!
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
EXAMPLES
OF SOME YOUTH USED BY GOD IN THE BIBLE
Which is the most difficult era of
human life? Infancy? Adolescence? Mature adulthood? Agedness? It probably
depends upon where you are as to how you might answer that query.
While many might suggest that one’s
sunset years are the hardest, my own judgment would be that the period
designated as youth might be the most challenging.
Youth is a frustrating time in life.
It is that period when one is hardly old enough to be on his own, and yet he is
feeling a sense of independence. Youth ever are attempting to find some sense
of identity; that is why they sometimes act and dress so weird. They are
bizarre!
But then, so were we.
The Scriptures represent youth as a
time both of danger and challenge. Moses said that “the imagination of man’s
heart is evil from his youth” (Gen. 8:21), and Paul admonished Timothy to “flee
youthful lusts” (2 Tim. 2:22).
By way of contrast, though, the
Creator also recognizes the value of youth to the divine cause. Youngsters have
energy, they are daring, and their hearts are filled with visions of
the future. Indeed, they can be a most
valuable component in the service of Jehovah.
Solomon, who wasted much of his life
in folly, perhaps thought better of the matter in his declining days. He
contended:
“Remember now your Creator in the
days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near when you
will say, I have no pleasure in them” (Eccl. 12:1).
Again, Paul would say to Timothy:
“Let no man despise your youth; but
you be an example to them that believe, in word, in manner of life, in love, in
faith, in purity” (1 Tim. 4:12).
It strikes me that whereas our youth
can be quite impetuous and sometimes a bit silly, they are, nonetheless, a
wonderful resource in the kingdom of heaven.
The fact is, the Bible is replete
with examples of how God has used younger people in some of the most vital
roles in the unfolding of his marvellous plan of redemption.
Let’s reflect upon some striking
examples that demonstrate God’s confidence in youth.
Joseph
Joseph is truly one of the sterling
characters of the Old Testament era. He was a favourite of his father, which
incited the passionate envy of his brothers (cf. Acts 7:9). Accordingly, these
hateful siblings sold Joseph to a caravan of Ishmaelite’s who transported him
down to Egypt, where the younger brother was bought by an Egyptian officer
named Potiphar.
As most everyone knows, during the
course of his duties, Potiphar’s evil wife cast longing eyes toward Joseph. She
attempted to seduce him, but he, with firm resolve, resisted, insisting: “How
can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?” (Gen. 39:9).
One of the stunning features of the
account is the fact that Joseph was only seventeen years of age (Gen. 37:2)! A
young lad, in a strange land, separated from his people and his centre of
religious strength — yet faithful to his God. How thrilling!
As the story subsequently unfolds,
we learn that Joseph was being used by Jehovah as a providential instrument for
the preservation of the Hebrew nation. Joseph would later recognize: “God did
send me [here] to preserve life” (Gen. 45:5).
Again, at the end of his life, to
his brothers he said: “You meant evil against me; but God meant it for good ...
to save many lives” (50:20).
All of this was done, of course, in
view the Lord’s use of the Hebrew nation as an instrument in the divine plan
which resulted in the incarnation of Christ. Think about it. God trusted a
teenager to accomplish such a vital role.
Miriam
As the Hebrew people multiplied in
the land of Egypt, they were perceived as a threat to the stability of that
nation. Hence the order was given that Israelite male babies were to be thrown
into the Nile. When Moses was born, his parents hid him for three months; then,
they placed him in a small vessel fashioned from the papyrus plant, which they
deposited by the river’s edge, committing their precious baby to the care of
Jehovah.
In the meantime, Moses’ older sister,
who is estimated to be about ten or twelve at this time, was posted some
distance away, keeping watch. Finally Miriam obtained Jochebed, Moses’ own
mother, as a nurse for the child. Oh, the ways of providence!
Here is my point. The entire future
of the Hebrew nation — the instrument to be employed for the conveyance of the
Saviour — was entrusted to a young girl.
Does this say something about how
God values youth? Assuredly it does.
David
The story of David, who became
Israel’s king, is too well-known to need elaboration. Who among us, both as
child and adult, has not thrilled to the narrative of David’s encounter with
the devilish Goliath?
What a breath-taking episode — the
soldiers of Israel on one side of the valley of Elah, the defiant Philistine champion
on the other. Morning and evening for forty days, Goliath had challenged Israel
to combat, but they were frozen in fear (1 Sam. 17:10-16).
When David arrived on the scene he
was chagrined at the timidity of his Hebrew kinsmen and volunteered to take on
the infidel. But he was disdained as a mere “youth” — initially by king Saul
himself, and then by Goliath (1 Sam. 17:33, 42). Never mind; God was with this
“youth,” who may have been about twenty-two or so at the time. Goliath was
slain and the Philistine force was routed. Edersheim called this victory “the
turning point in the history of the theocracy”.
Again, the Lord invested in youth,
and the cause of truth triumphed.
Josiah
The noblest king to reign in the
territory of Judah was Josiah. Scripture says there was no ruler of his
calibre, neither before nor after him, who sought the Lord with “all his heart”
as did he (2 Kgs. 23:25).
Josiah was but a boy of eight when
he came to the throne. At the age of sixteen, he began to “seek” Jehovah, and
by the time he turned twenty, he initiated a campaign to purge the southern
kingdom of its idolatry (2 Chron. 34:1-3).
When Josiah was twenty-six, he
arranged for repairs on the temple. It was at this time that a tremendously
significant event occurred. A copy of “the law of Jehovah given by Moses” was
discovered in the temple (2 Chron. 34:14). When the religious and moral message
of the sacred document was studied, and the spiritual fabric of the nation was
seen to stand in such glaring contrast, a reformation was proclaimed.
One of Josiah’s important
accomplishments was the restoration of the Passover, which had not been
observed with care since the days of the judges (2 Kgs. 23:21-23). Since the
Passover was designed to preview the death of Jesus (cf. 1 Cor. 5:7), Josiah
was an important element in preparing the nation for the Saviour’s arrival.
What confidence Jehovah had placed in a spiritual lad.
Jeremiah
Jeremiah, the great “weeping
prophet,” is one of the more remarkable characters of the Old Testament. He sought
so desperately to bring rebellious Judah back into conformity with the law of
God. He began his ministry in the thirteenth year of Josiah (626 B.C.) and
concluded his work among his people when the Babylonian force destroyed the
temple in 586 B.C. But he prophesied periodically even after the fall of the
holy city.
It is possible that his preaching
career spanned some sixty years or more. This suggests that Jeremiah was
probably in his late teens when he was called off the Lord to be his prophet to
the wicked nation. God can use a youth of faith!
Mary
One can only imagine how sweet the
beloved Mary of Nazareth must have been, as evidenced by the fact that of all
women in Israel, she was chosen to be the mother of our Lord.
Something of her spiritual depth is
seen in the psalm she uttered when greeted by Elizabeth, while visiting her
kinsman in the hill country of Judah. The song is often called the “Magnifcat”
(from the first word of the passage in the Latin Vulgate). The passage begins:
“My soul magnifies [present—continuously] the Lord, and my spirit hath rejoiced
in God my Saviour” (Lk. 1:46).
In one of his books, Harry Rimmer
noted that this little song, of ten verses in the English Bible, draws from twenty-three
separate passages in the Old Testament (118). What a commentary on how her
precious mind was filled with the word of God!
Here is a fact that makes this even
more astounding. In the Jewish culture, a girl was normally married by the age
of twelve or thirteen. Prior to thirteen, a maiden might be betrothed to a man
by her parents; at thirteen, she was of the legal age to make her own choice.
It is entirely possible, therefore,
that when Mary gave birth to the Saviour of the world that she was in her early
teens. Does this not speak volumes about how God trusts spiritually minded
youth?
Timothy
There was no companion closer to the
great apostle Paul than his young friend Timothy. When the apostle wrote to the
church in Philippi, the congregation for whom he had the greatest affection, he
pledged to send Timothy to assist them. He paid the lad the highest compliment
when he told the Philippians saints that “I have no man like-minded, who will
care truly for your state” (Phil. 2:20).
From time to time, during Paul’s
missionary endeavors, Timothy was at his side. And during those dark hours as
God’s apostle awaited execution, he longed for the friendship of Timothy. In
his final epistle, Paul urged: “Give diligence to come to me shortly” (2 Tim.
4:9). What a compliment to this young Christian.
Apparently Paul converted Timothy on
his first missionary campaign when in Lystra (Acts 14:8ff; cf. 1 Cor 4:17; 1
Tim. 1:2). When the apostle passed through the region a second time (16:1ff),
he selected Timothy to accompany him. Since Timothy was still regarded as a
“youth” when Paul wrote his first letter to him (1 Tim. 4:12), which was some
fourteen years after the lad joined the apostle on that preaching tour, it is
believed that he was eighteen to twenty when he started working with Paul.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
RECOGNIZE THE POTENTIAL
A consideration of these cases, and others
that might be noted (2 Kgs. 5:2), clearly show that youngsters, properly
trained, are capable of courageous faith and considerable usefulness in
heaven’s cause.
Perhaps we do not realize how we
might influence youngsters to serve the Lord. Do we not overlook their
potential all too often? Think about these cases.
In 1868 the popular preacher, T. B.
Larimore, came to Rock Creek, Alabama to conduct a gospel meeting. Larimore
later told of an encounter he had with a twelve-year-old boy.
“A little black eyed boy had taken
his stand a few feet from the narrow path leading to the door of the meeting
house, and was standing there barefooted, hands in pockets, eyes and mouth
open, to get a glimpse of the big preacher he had ‘Hearn tell of.’ The preacher
turned aside to speak to the little fellow, and to take him by the hand, and
thus began a friendship that nothing but death could destroy”.
That boy was F. D. Srygley, who grew
up to become a respected preacher and writer, who wrote several books about
Larimore.
Hugo MeCord tells of the influence
of one such boy, who, some years ago was attending a gospel tent meeting in
Ireland. In the audience he was seated next to Bill Tyner. During the course of
the service, Tyner leaned over and asked the lad: “What does Jesus mean to
you?” The boy quickly replied: “Why, he’s my everything. What does he mean to
you?” Later Tyner, having been deeply moved by the incident, wrote the
beautiful hymn, “He Is My Everything.”
CONCLUSION
• Sex isn't bad, when it's in the loving commitment of
marriage, as God intended. But you can't “own” several people before marriage
and have their memory ever disappear completely.
• Some people think they need to figure “it” out for
themselves, but they don't always realize what they're getting themselves into.
• There are emotional and sexual consequences that stay with
you and affect you long after the relationship is over, no matter how physical
you choose to be.
• Just choosing not to have sexual intercourse doesn't mean
that you can avoid emotional hurt or sexual problems. Being physically intimate
is emotional, even when intercourse isn't involved.
• It's important to talk about what the Bible says about sex
and God's purpose for sex and intimacy in marriage. Make this a Bible study
topic.
• Don't allow guilt to rule you or eat you up inside.
Although sex before marriage is not what God intended, God forgives when we
repent, and we can move on from our mistakes. If you're truly sorry for your
actions and you understand where you've strayed from God's way, repent and God
will forgive you. Learn how to forgive yourself. God still has a use for us
even if we've messed up.
Youth can accomplish magnificent
things for the Master’s cause. But do we always recognize this? Are our young
people merely ignored as empty-headed, silly people who are unworthy of serious
responsibility?
Sadly, this may be the case
sometimes. But we should not overlook this valuable resource in the Master’s
cause. We must be on the lookout for them and encourage them along the way. God
can use them mightily.
Scripture References
Genesis 8:21; 2 Timothy 2:22;
Ecclesiastes 12:1; 1 Timothy 4:12; Acts 7:9; Genesis 39:9; Genesis 37:2;
Genesis 45:5; 1 Samuel 17:10-16; 1 Samuel 17:33, 42; 2 Kings 23:25; 2
Chronicles 34:1-3; 2 Chronicles 34:14; 2 Kings 23:21-23; Luke 1:46; Philippians
2:20; 2 Timothy 4:9; Acts 14:8; 1 Timothy 1:2
If you find it useful for you! Don't forget to
share it to others.
You send any observation to my mail davidpeter644@gmail.com or 08108448406 —
